Those of you who have seen Grindhouse may remember Eli Roth’s faux trailer, Thanksgiving, a spoof of every slasher flick ever made. Now, take that and remove any traces of irony and you’re left with Prom Night.
There’s little point in detailing the plot as it’s so utterly uninspired as to make me weep, but I will anyway if only to stave away the crippling post-Prom Night depression for a little while longer. Feisty young Donna (Brittany Snow, who needs to have a long, hard talk with her agent) witnessed her loony teacher-cum-stalker (Schaech) murder her family three years ago. However, now he’s back to ruin the best night of her life – the all-important senior prom.
Prom Night’s chief crime against humanity is its sheer predictability, the film populated by bland rent-a-teens who have little else to do than grin and flex. At the very least these films usually have an enjoyably-hammy antagonist, however Prom Night lacks in even this most basic principle; Schaech’s vaguely-motivated psychopath is so unfrightening it’s laughable; donning a baseball cap and a bland stubble, it’s almost startling how little effort has been put in into making this film scary. Indeed, the only cast member who I didn’t spend the majority of the movie contemplating ways to torture with piano wire was Idris Elba, who at least seems to have fun with his role as the token “badass” cop.
Clumsily-directed, depressingly dull and, most crucially, so lacking in shocks and scares that the film feels unfinished, Prom Night is a genuinely terrible and utterly pointless film which you should avoid at all costs. A sly injection of humour may have upped it into the “so-bad-it’s-good” bracket, but this is devoid of anything even resembling entertainment.